Thought at 33,000 Feet

Composed on the way to Dallas for my son’s wedding.

____

​The only formal education I have is technical school from the Air Force and a two year business degree from community college. I qualified for Pararescue in the Air Force but washed out due to injury. I have fallen into every job I’ve ever had, and I have stayed until the company was either purchased or dissolved except for one. I wore a suit as a stockbroker and was never comfortable in it, but I do dress up well. My favorite job to date paid me the least. I cling to dark memories from my past as a reminder of where I’ve been, and I relive those memories when I am sad, which is often. I pull myself out of melancholy very easily, but I have to want to. I love dogs, but have never owned one. I am 6’1″. Sarcasm is lost on me and this often makes me look like a hayseed. I say what I mean and do my very best to back up my words with action. Everything I know about writing has been derived from books I’ve read. I don’t drink, not because of a medical condition or religious belief, but because I like being in control of my faculties at all times. I smoked cigarettes for 25 years and quit overnight. I still don’t know why, but I liked smoking. I believe in fate and true love and kindred souls over vast distances and I have been on only one date in seven years and it was with someone from my distant past. It didn’t work. I got over it, but it took a long time. I grew this beard to celebrate my 50th birthday and now I hide behind it and I admit this freely because it is true. I don’t like the sound of my own voice unless I am impersonating someone else, usually singing. My tattoos don’t tell a story, but I like them all individually. I ride my bike when I need to breathe and I ride until I can’t breathe. I know some outcomes before they occur but I can’t explain why. This includes romantic encounters and I am rarely wrong. I do not discuss politics, ever, but I will make fun of the process. You will never lose my friendship over a vote. While I never played hockey, it is my favorite sport. I would rather be alone than settle for less than what I know I need. Online dating will never be in my browser history, and not because I clear it out. Most of my fondest memories are of growing up in Chicago as a kid. I don’t grow hair on my legs or my back, but my chest looks like Sean Connery’s in Zardoz. Of all my senses, touch is more dominant than the rest combined, and it is the least used. I assume all women think anything I say is a line, so I keep to myself unless spoken to first. There are only two exceptions to date and they know who they are. I would rather be too hot than too cold. I could watch Seinfeld for the rest of my life and always laugh. Holding hands for an hour is better than a five minute kiss because I believe it means you like me deeply. I am ambidextrous, but write right-handed because that’s what hand they first put the pencil into and I didn’t argue. Given my druthers, I would live deep in a forest rather than by the sea.

~thoughts at 33,000 feet~

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2 thoughts on “Thought at 33,000 Feet

  1. R~ My senses are overwhelmed. Your written account of “a life unfulfilled” has set off my empath radar. Your descriptions-of-self betray a life well-lived over 52 years; and, it’s not over yet. Your words make me feel. You are a lover and a fighter . . . a fighter for love, even more so. Don’t ever stop writing or hoping. ~K

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